Flights
Wow. Who would have thought aeroplanes will be turned into city buses in a decade?
With airports popping up like MG roads in India(Kannur is the newest of the lot). We have successfully ventured into revolutionizing airspace in both good and bad ways.
In India, getting ready for air travel is a ritual.
The Great Indian Ticket Lemma:
Let x be a person living in India.
If x has to buy a ticket for air travel at a certain "d" date. x buys the ticket the ticket 10 centuries before that date.
I kid you not. Once my parents didn't allow me to plan a trip because I mentioned it only two months earlier(Boohoo)
The flight companies aren't that behind. Their baggage limitation is off the charts. No matter what your weight is, you may be 150kg sumo-wrestler or underweight teenager: The limit is 7kg for hand baggage and 15 (or sometimes more for others) for check-in baggage.
Some cunning airlines play games with us too. This is from personal experience. An aeroplane that rhymes with "MiceJet" account 7kg for hand baggage including laptop bag. These buffoons landed me in a problem in Kolkata airport last May. I was overweight on luggage. I had to think of something quick or else these money hoggers will ask for money. I gave my extra weight to my friend who had a flight at a similar time, then after check-in, I took everything and put it in my hand baggage.
Another instant where I reigned supreme was the day before yesterday. My father, again, booked hand baggage only ticket. I realised his mistake a few hours before my flight. I had 10 kg of baggage and only 7 kg allowance. I kept everything that was not required in my friend's home. I was still a 1 kg extra. What I did next will make every Indian proud.\
*South Indian Hero Entrance music*
I wore 3 shirts and 2 pants underneath.
(A thousand mothers crying in happiness in the background)
Voila!!!!
Mission accomplished.
6.97kg.
The hell isn't over yet. Now it is the passengers' turn. The seats violate personal privacy at every cost and so do the passengers. You have your loud talking ones, the loud sleepy ones... basically, everyone is loud. And that baby that seems to have the devil inside it for the entirety of the flight.
Lastly (yes, this is coming to an end), leaving the aeroplane is an extreme sport. Just like the muscle memory of an athlete, we tend to forget that the aeroplane won't come to a halt for 20 seconds (like the metro or city bus).
As soon as the plane touches the ground, the sound of buckles echoes across the aluminium tube. It's a race for no apparent reason. There is always this one guy who switches on his phone and gets up quickly and gives that "F*** you" look to all and waltz off to the front of the aircraft.
Rating: Mile high ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) out of 10
 |
| This is your captain speaking. We'll be landing shortly at a Mother Theresa Road bus stop, please pay the air stewards Rs 10 for the trip. |
In India, getting ready for air travel is a ritual.
The Great Indian Ticket Lemma:
Let x be a person living in India.
If x has to buy a ticket for air travel at a certain "d" date. x buys the ticket the ticket 10 centuries before that date.
I kid you not. Once my parents didn't allow me to plan a trip because I mentioned it only two months earlier(Boohoo)
The flight companies aren't that behind. Their baggage limitation is off the charts. No matter what your weight is, you may be 150kg sumo-wrestler or underweight teenager: The limit is 7kg for hand baggage and 15 (or sometimes more for others) for check-in baggage.
Some cunning airlines play games with us too. This is from personal experience. An aeroplane that rhymes with "MiceJet" account 7kg for hand baggage including laptop bag. These buffoons landed me in a problem in Kolkata airport last May. I was overweight on luggage. I had to think of something quick or else these money hoggers will ask for money. I gave my extra weight to my friend who had a flight at a similar time, then after check-in, I took everything and put it in my hand baggage.
Another instant where I reigned supreme was the day before yesterday. My father, again, booked hand baggage only ticket. I realised his mistake a few hours before my flight. I had 10 kg of baggage and only 7 kg allowance. I kept everything that was not required in my friend's home. I was still a 1 kg extra. What I did next will make every Indian proud.\
*South Indian Hero Entrance music*
I wore 3 shirts and 2 pants underneath.
(A thousand mothers crying in happiness in the background)
Voila!!!!
Mission accomplished.
6.97kg.
 |
| I live on the edge. |
The hell isn't over yet. Now it is the passengers' turn. The seats violate personal privacy at every cost and so do the passengers. You have your loud talking ones, the loud sleepy ones... basically, everyone is loud. And that baby that seems to have the devil inside it for the entirety of the flight.
 |
| Wanna guess what will happen when you keep 100-200 agitated people in an Aluminium tube at the height of 30,000ft? |
Lastly (yes, this is coming to an end), leaving the aeroplane is an extreme sport. Just like the muscle memory of an athlete, we tend to forget that the aeroplane won't come to a halt for 20 seconds (like the metro or city bus).
 |
| Green shirt guy: "ABEEE bsdk, aage ja!!!nahi to mera ego satisfy nahi hoga!!! " |
As soon as the plane touches the ground, the sound of buckles echoes across the aluminium tube. It's a race for no apparent reason. There is always this one guy who switches on his phone and gets up quickly and gives that "F*** you" look to all and waltz off to the front of the aircraft.
Rating: Mile high ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) out of 10
funny yaar. i am your biggest fan
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